With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy of "Redneck" joke fame, you might be a member of the church of Christ …
• If you know exactly what song I'm talking about when I ask you to turn to number 728b.
• If you could recite all the books of the Bible before you could even read them.
• If you know the first and third verse of nearly every song.
• If you actually know what a "ready recollection" is and have been thoroughly "guide-guard-and-directed" all your life. (If you're really a member, you know that "guide-guard-and-directed" must be followed by "and-bring-us-back-at-the-next-appointed-time.")
• If you think "progressive" refers to those in the church who want a sound system and PowerPoint.
• If you can actually read shape notes.
• If you recognize any of these ministers by first name alone:
• If you think your chosen pew is "sacred" and no one else should sit in your spot.
• If you think the Bible questions on Jeopardy are way too easy.
• If you decide which Bible translation to use based on how Acts 2:38 reads.
• If you immediately reach for your wallet when you hear the phrase, "Now, separate and apart from the Lord's Supper …”
• If you know all the words to all the verses of Trust and Obey.
• If you've ever ridden a JOY bus. (And, of course, you know that JOY stands for "Jesus" first, "Others" second and "Yourself" last.)
• If, when you're happy and you know it, you clap your hands, stomp your feet and say "Amen!"
• If you've ever carried your Bible in an empty casserole dish.
• If you brought that casserole dish to the last fellowship meal, and the main ingredient in it was cream of mushroom soup.
• If you've ever heard a rambunctious young child yell "Pray for me! Pray for me!" as his mother whisked him down the aisle to the foyer.
• If you've ever wondered who Ebon Pinion was.
• If you think the term " church of Christ humor" is an oxymoron.
• If you've ever heard an announcement from the pulpit about a missing puppet.
• If you think the Chronicle is way too liberal.
• If you've ever prayed for those "who are sick of this congregation."
• If you've never been to a church that wasn't named after the street it was on.
• If you think the Chronicle is way too conservative.
• If you've been to a wedding or a funeral where "the invitation" was offered.
• If you've stood for 13 verses of Just As I Am with the last stanza sung softly.
I'm sure some of you can identify with some if not all of what is listed above....no matter where we are, or where we're headed it's always nice to remember where we came from. Please share your thoughts....I'd love to know what this list makes you think of!
Have a great day!!!! :)
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5 comments:
I grew up in a Baptist church, and at least 1/2 of these can apply to me, too! How funny! Now I'll be singing Just as I am all day! :)
NEVER NOTICED TIL NOW MUCH HUMOR AS WITH TRUTH OFTEN BOTH HIT THE SAME SPOT ON THE BULLS EYE.
JOHN l. CURTIS
"PULPIT MINISTER" (ADD THAT TITLE TO YOUR LIST)
I still must be a new member of our Church of Christ. I will have to search for the Trust and Obey lyrics, I don't have them down yet :)
Also, I will be searching Ebon Pinion too.
This is awesome! Just ran across it doing a Google search. The only one that never would have happened when I was growing up was the announcement about the puppets, don't you know only the "liberals" used puppets? And the announcements had better be at the beginning, BEFORE the opening song, because they were NOT a part of the "worship".
728B, the church of christ anthem. Also a lot of coc fellowship meals that are finger foods, you will often find pimento cheese sandwiches. That also could be included here
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